Flirting might be a virtue for the single but is definitely undesirable for those who are committed.
Some believe it’s fun, a social and healthy behaviour but it has the potential to ruin a relationship.
Flirting today might invariably result in an affair tomorrow and you don’t want to incur heartache over that. This causes all kinds of discomfort, even in a relationship where there is much trust.
When your partner begins to show interest in another person, tries to make the person smile, always love being around the person, giving complements, paying attention and giving comments on things pertaining to the person, s/he is flirting.
It’s in our nature, we all want to be wanted and needed and pulling out isn’t the solution but deducing a means to deal with your partner.
There are lot of ways to flirt, several writers have given several opinions based on their perspective.
This article isn’t meant for those who think they know what flirting is and way out of it.
It’s for people who are helpless in dealing with their flirtatious partner and long for a way out.
The best way to avoid letting a goat into your house is to avoid leaving the door opened.
Flirting is never harmless; it has the potential to ruin your relationship.
After a lady found out her lover[Partner] flirts, she wrote a letter telling him how much she loved him, and that she hoped for a strong relationship, a relationship that is transparent, and she threatened to leave him if the response is not favourable.
I heard of a couple who had to separate because the husband could no longer cope with his wife's flirting attitude.
Just in case you are wondering, these are real life examples. I could go on with many more but am going to concentrate on how to deal with issues on flirting and not on the problem.
What is the core of your relationship [union] if you and your partner do not understand each other?, the change in attraction and connection baffles me mostly. Why would I divert my emotions from someone have been conglutinated with to a friend or a stranger?
I would have love to start with defining what flirting is, ways to flirt, How to know if your partner flirts or not. But let’s focus on how to deal with your flirtatious partner
There are lot of ways to deal with a flirtatious partner but am just going to relate the basic two factors that connect them together in this article.
1} UNDERSTANDING YOUR PARTNER
2} COMMUNICATION
UNDERSTANDING YOUR PARTNER
Lots of people seem to look far away for solutions not knowing that the solution is so close than ever imagined.
I have a partner we’ve been together for months, years, we really do love each other, and all of a sudden I discovered all those warmth smile and happiness evades and the best I can do is to cede the relationship. My response is NO.
All I need to do is find out, why the sudden change in behaviour, perhaps I have not been giving my partner enough attention.
Try supporting your partner more and flirt with your partner. Try seeing them in a new way day by day.
If you find your partner flirting with another person, you would approach your partner with hug, kiss on the cheek , putting your arm around your partner, giving your partner a big smile, distracting your partner from other people.
If your partner is getting good attention, respect and attractiveness from you, your partner should not need to seek it elsewhere.
Hey! I have a partner who flirts because of my refusal to have sex. What should I do? Should I get his/her attention by yielding to the request?
Giving your partner attention doesn’t mean you should allow your partner to have sex with you.
Don’t have a misconception of the word “ATTENTION” .Even if you allow your partner, that won’t stop your partner from flirting.
This happened to a close brother of mine, he and his partner love each other but this lady couldn’t stop flirting, this isn’t being friendly.
She flirts because she gets more cash from other guys. This close brother thought the best way to get her attention was to spend …am not against the move, it’s quite good but this guy went to the extent of spending his school fees.
This actually caused him an extra semester and the painful aspect is that the lady finally left him.
Be wise with your decision , you have to pay a price indeed but not to your own detriment like the case discussed above.
COMMUNICATION
This is the key aspect of dealing with your partner. Politely ask your partner why he/she is flirting.
Try as possible to avoid being accusatory or inimical if possible, but let your partner know that you are not pleased with the situation.
Let your partner know you are not comfortable with it, approaching him/her with frankness.
Make sure you weren’t accusing your partner of been unfaithful or cheating, and be crystal clear your partner understands you.
Ask your partner how he/she would feel if you seemed uninterested in him/her, and start hitting on all the single ladies/guys.
If the response is favorable , then embrace your partners heart of honesty and work on how to help him/her to stop flirting. And if the response is not favorable, you just threaten to pull out.
Sometimes trying to fix or change someone isn’t the right way. It’s better to find the one that is right and not waste time with the wrong one.
Am going to end this article with a story which might really be of help.
There is this man called Dave who got married to a young , vibrant female lawyer.
This guy happens to come from a rich home , his father happens to be the ratified candidate for a political post in his party .
This guy took over the companies of his father.
He never allowed his wife to get socialized, he turned his wife to a full housewife. Her responsibility is to take care of the house, make provisions of all what her husband needs, he doesn’t take stale foods. So this lady had to wake up as early as 3:00am to prepare her husband’s breakfast …and with all effort to satisfy her husband even on bed, she gets mistreated.
All marriage is to her is endurance and bondage, she longed so much for joy in her marriage and she made up her mind to fight for it.
She approached a female lawyer and ended up settling for a divorce.
She presented the divorce letter to her husband. They got divorced but there was an agreement that she can’t leave and the news of the divorce wouldn’t get leaked out just for the sake of her "inlaw's" political ambition.
But she is free to do anything and been relieved of her responsibilities as a wife.
The husband couldn’t cope because for the three years they spent together, he hasn’t tasted any other person’s food. So his mother had to bring in a maid whose duty is just to prepare his meals.
He did all he could to persuade his divorced wife to teach the maid how to cook, but she refused.
She started coming home late, going out with a man. The husband as well brought a lady he flirts with even before he divorced his wife.
This is known to the divorced wife but she doesn’t care, her mission was to bring back the joy of her matrimonial home.
She went to the extent of using dildo and start making several sexual
sounds in her room, this was known to her divorced husband though she didn’t use the device, she just had to pretend she was using it.
The husband had to sneak into her room and stole the device because he couldn’t bear it any longer.
He went to the lawyer to seek for advice making known his intention that he doesn’t want divorce.
The female lawyer arranged a meeting with both parties and the wife made her intention known that she wants the love and the joy of the marriage and not to be a bad woman, and the husband promised to give her. He started giving her much attention and both began to enjoy their marriage.
This is the most important aspect of this story.
The husband lately found out that the man her wife had been seeing lately happened to be the husband of the lawyer. All was a planned work and it worked out.
Let your partner know you are being hurt with the situation {flirting}, threaten to leave with wisdom like the case discussed above.
The outcome is in two phases; it’s either your partner fix things up and adhere to you or your partner shows no sign or change and at this point you are advised to move on and wait for the right partner to come your way.
Flirting is good, when it’s done with the right person.